Handling Egos and Attitudes

While being a clinician, a guest musician/director or even just talking with other choir leaders the subject of egos and attitudes has come up quite often. It's sad to say that 'church folk' can be some of the most disrespectful people you can run into. In leadership there has to be guidelines and parameters. It's great going into a choral setting knowing that you have the support of church leadership, so that when certain situations come up and the Minister of Music/Director can't get the cooperation that they should get they can have church leadership to step in and squelch the problem/s. I use the term 'church leadership' because some churches have other people besides the pastor that deal with certain ministries. It maybe 1or 2 people or even a committee. It is ideal, however, just to be able to confer with the pastor in certain situations but that's not always the case. These egos and attitudes that were stated earlier can come from choir officers, musicians, directors and choir members. If you came in strong and are on top of your game then you probably have gained the respect of your people. Even if they have a problem they likely will keep it to themselves or eventually step away from the ministry. The latter would be the best because hidden problems can be 'cancerous' and eat away at the ministry.  If you are trying to re-establish your place in leadership then you need to set your guidelines and parameters explain them to leadership. Have a meeting with the ministry and leadership together so they know that you mean business. Don't let family and friendship get in the way of leadership and by all means stick to what you have said. Remember 'Plan the work and work the Plan'. Of course we can't be so dogmatic and autonomous sometimes that we build up a wall and intimidate the people. If Christ handled His problems with love then we should be able to do the same. Never try to embarrass an individual or call them out but go to them in private to discuss the problem you are having with them. Afterwards, if there in no understanding or conclusion then go to leadership (and that's BIBLE). If you find these problems, the earlier you handle them the better. It's always good to document problems so that when you present them you can state what happened, when it happened and the results after it happened. This may seem a little tedious but in the long run this will keep you aware of ongoing occurances. Try not to make these situations personal or a vendetta and always be ready for reconcilliation.